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My Father, My Mother, My Brother

My Father, My Mother, My Brother


by Deedee



My story starts a little over eight years ago when my older brother, who I loved and adored was diagnosed with colon cancer with mestastis to the liver. I was devastated when he got sick. He went through so much and he never complained. It was so sad to watch my big brother, who always looked out for me and protected me become so sick. If I thought I had it bad I didn't realize what it was doing to my mother and father.

My mother was also a sick person. In 1990 she was diagnosed with breast cancer but was doing great, but in 1994, she went into liver failure and was in a coma for over a week. The doctors finally figured out she had a genetic liver condition and in combination with the drugs she was on for the breast cancer it made her liver fail. Thankfully, she survived this ordeal.

My father on the other hand was a healthy man except for high blood pressure. He went to the doctor on Oct. 10, 1994 and received a good report and was told to come back in six months. He was so happy because the doctor told him he was healthy. A week later I got up to get ready to go to work and could not get into the bathroom because my father was in there. I waited for about 15 minutes and decided to go see if his car was in the driveway because it was unusal for him not to come out of the bathroom if he knew someone was waiting to get in there. His car was in the driveway so I ran back upstairs and knocked on the door. I got nervous when he didn't answer so I pulled open the door and imagine my horror when I saw him lying on the floor. I went over to him and knew right away my beloved father was gone. I started screaming and crying. My mother go up and said "What's wrong?" I said, "Oh God he's dead!" I called 911 but hung up on them because I didn't want to leave him alone. They called back and my mother told them what was going on so they sent the paramedics who then pronounced him dead. I was in shock. I couldn't believe that he was gone. The hardest part was having to call my brother and give him the news.

He and my father were so close plus my brother was sick with cancer. He had just got home from the hospital. He came down to my house and made all the necessary phone calls as he is a Funeral Director. He handled everything and when he was done he was admitted to the hospital that afternoon because he was bleeding and needed blood transfusions. After my father's funeral, my brother got sicker and we knew we were losing him but he would not admit he was dying. He was determined to beat cancer.

Well the cancer won and one month later I lost my big brother to colon cancer. Once again I was devastated. His death affected me terribly but I knew I had to pick up the pieces and go on. I still had my mother and my niece (my brother's precious little girl who was only 6 years old.) Things were ok for about six months until my mother had breast cancer for the second time.

It was five years since the first time and she was considered cancer free. This started a whole new process of her health beginning to go downward. After this diagnosis she began having all sorts of problems from blood clots in her lungs to a foot infection which really took a toll on her. She became sick again in January of this year and the doctors thought she had another blood clot but she didn't. I asked if it could be her gall bladder and they said no even though she had a history of gall stones. In April, she had a gall bladder attack but they didn't want to operate because of her liver and lung problems.

Sadly, she went into liver and kidney failure in June but she came around and was getting ready to be discharged from the hospital when she suddenly took a turn for the worse. She was lucid the whole time and refused to go back on the respirator. She wanted to come home. The doctor told her she would die if she went home but she didn't want to live on a respirator. So we brought her home that Monday at 11 a.m. and she died peacefully in her own bed a couple of hours later.

I miss her so much. She was only 70 years old and still had alot of living to do. I still can't believe she's gone. It's so hard to look at any of their pictures without crying. My father was also only 70 when he died and my brother had just celebrated his 43rd birthday. I still miss my father and brother. I guess you never get over the deaths of someone so close. I will always miss them.



I am the youngest of four children, born in NJ but grew up in NY. I graduated from high school and have been working on the same job for thirty years.

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